Rediscovering Creative Voice

I know I have written about this before, but as an artist we walk a fine line, between giving people what they want and need, and being true to our own voice. It’s a tightrope walk at times for me because I want to give people want they want and are happy with. While at the same time, I need to paint what works best for me. Sometimes I end up giving away a part of my voice without even realizing it.

(Indian Americans would call this a version of soul retrieval - which can happen in three ways - a) soul theft: someone taking something from us; b) soul gift: us giving a piece of our soul away; or c) soul loss: occurring during times of trauma or death, when parts of us are tied up with other. Me, I tend to give away and not even realize it.)

A few years ago I was dating someone, and while he was very supportive of my art, he had this idea that my color palette was not right.  That it needed to more match his own aesthetic tastes.

I tried to see this as an opportunity to expand my color palette repertoire. And came up with a few additional color palettes with which to paint from that would more suit his tastes, and those of similar background. So I painted a new series in his colors and continued to do so, not because I loved those colors the most, but because I forgot I had ever painted differently.

Recently I dated a guy who has a very similar color tastes as myself. As a gift I went through my paint sketches and gave him one I knew he would love. The thing is, pulling it out, I realized I missed that color palette.  I missed not painting in ways most important to me.

So today, I opened a few new canvases and painted in my colors - not someone else’s - my own. And it feels really good.

Has anyone re-discovered a part of themselves, they had accidentally put aside? 

For another blog on a similar topic see Rediscovering a Passion

Being In-Flow

There is a stereotypical image of an artist - heads-down in his or her studio, working frantically and late into the night, working erratic hours and sometimes forgetting to eat or sleep. While I never seem to forget to eat or sleep - I do at times end up knee deep in my studio for days - not wanting to break the stream of creativity flowing from me.

I realized recently that this is actually simply being “in the flow” of things.  Some days it is only a trickle and other days it is like a fire hose has been unleashed inside my head that must be put to canvas or paper. Other days, it simply means that painting and creating come naturally and effortlessly. And on days I assigned to painting time, and it’s not happening, it’s not really my fault, it’s just that creativity doesn’t work on a schedule like that.  So while I can be productive, I won’t be half as productive as when I am plugged into the flow. 

Over the years of painting I have learned that it’s OK to take a break, go work out, etc. (as long as I stay with right brained activities) That the flow will be there when I get back. Although most times it feels way to good to stop,and so plans with friends are cancelled and the workout is put to another day.

I think the reason this activity has seemed foreign and odd to most of the rest of the population is that so many of us spend WAY too much time doing things we aren’t really put on this earth to do - and so we aren’t in flow.

Being in flow - with tons of creativity doesn’t just happen when creating art.  Last week, I was knee deep in my office upstairs. Going over work planning, social media marketing and general business strategy planning for the coming 12 months for 5 different brands that I am working on (some art, some not). The same thing that normally happens in my studio happened here. Ideas sprouted from my mind into actionable steps, and answers I had had for up to a year came to me one after another.  Every time I was evenly slightly “stuck” for an answer or next step or “how the hell will I ever get to X” - I would get an email or a call that would completely answer my question and continue me on my path to move forward into the unknown.  

I was afraid if I left my office I would miss the next great idea or answer to a question I had been trying to find for weeks or month that were now all pouring into my mind at a rapid, crazy speed. It was as if someone had unleashed a fire hose of ideas into my brain and I was struggling to control it.  For days I did nothing but work in my office creating spreadsheets, color charts and scribbly drawings of flow diagrams. Going to bed late, only to wake back up an hour later with whatever answers still need to be filled in. 

I realized this week - that that was simply being “in flow” on the left-brain side of things.  And since it was so rare I just didn’t realize it.  I could have easily taken a breath or two and it would have been OK.  It was a bit exhausting trying to get everything down as quickly as it was coming to me while also being in fear that if I paused, an answer would vanish. Had I realized it was simply “being in the flow” I could have relaxed into it, instead of fearing it would pass before all the answers were revealed. 

I remember a course I took with Matthew Ferry (insert link).  He talked about how life flowed in sets of waves, and that we couldn’t always be in flow, because it would exhaust us.  That we needed rest, the lull before the next set of waves/flow to relax, recharge and reboot.  

The other reason I think so few of us experience flow in work at regular intervals is because we are trying to fit our work into a box of 8am-6pm or so. Flow doesn’t work this way.  It goes for days.  Then stops - let’s us rest and focus on something else like, our relationship, the laundry and a workout, or nothing at all. 

So next time you feel yourself getting a few answers - embrace it - acknowledge it and see just how much more often that flow comes your way. 

Thoughts?  Anyone else out there able to be in flow while doing left-brain, logical things????

For another blog about the creative process see Keeping the Vision

Studio Time

There are days when I need to paint (deadline, upcoming show etc.) and yet I’m not in the mood.  Sometimes this is just because I’m focused on the other left-side portion of my business and so I’m just not feeling creative.  But at other times it’s because life has thrown me a curve ball, and I’m feeling something other than joy, love, peace and happiness. 

The funny thing is - if I can buckle myself down, and just allow myself to paint.  Even if I just paint something that doesn’t / wont ever see the light of day (show or public wise) everything will fade away.  All the pain, angst, hurt, worry - whatever it is - will fade away.

And all that is left is me, in my studio, in the present.  Brush stroke by brush stroke easing away the angst and just allowing myself to be in the here and now. 

Being as some would call it - in the flow.

And it’s at these points that I’m reminded just how lucky we artists are to have a passion that puts us in the flow.  And strictly in the present. So that all the past can effortlessly melt away.

What do you think? What other passions are out there, that help you become more in flow, more in the present?

For another look inside the making of art, see Standing In Line For An Art Show

Step Back

Came down into my studio this morning and realized that I was much farther on this painting than I thought.  I think that life, as in painting,  sometimes if we just step back for a second and come back with a different perspective that only a little time can give us, we are actually making more progress than we give ourselves credit for.

Last night I felt like nothing was reading right on this piece. I felt the girl’s hair and her back were just not coming together.  But that was because I was too close to it.  And my brain and ego were attached.  This morning, looking at the painting through the kitchen (my studio is downstairs) I realized that the parts I had been fussing about last night, were actually quite good - and reading as they should.

Kind of reminds me of a process Jayne Johnson (http://theclearingsight.com/) teaches in her goals workshop.  That before we set goals for the new year, take a few minutes and write down all the things we accomplished in the prior year - and then tell them to someone else.  Two things normally happen - 1st I always realize that I have done more than I thought (stop beating myself up so much) and 2nd, when I read the list aloud, I see/feel even more of the accomplishments I was writing, because it just again, gives a new perspective. 

So - next time I’m struggling with a new piece of art, I’m going to try to remember what I learned this morning - to step back, take a break, maybe work on something else.  And see if it really is as bad as I think, or if I’m actually on the right track, but just too in the way to see it. 

Anyone else have a similar story?

For another look inside the making of art see Happy Mistakes

The Creative Process

The Creative Process is not one size fits all.  I remember writing a paper in middle school.  My desk blotter was my outline, my notes, everything but the final piece. My teacher reduced my grade because I couldn’t show him a “proper” outline.  As if that was the ONLY way one could properly draft a paper.

After this - I tried to make my creative writing process fit with his - years later - I was still trying to come up with an outline.  And since my brain just honestly does not think that way, I started using colored notecards, that I could then arrange into thoughts - and then type up the stupid outline required for professor or teacher.   Because they didn’t get how my brain worked, they wanted me to create in the way their brain functioned best. 

For years - and years - this is what I did.  Tried to smoosh my creative, right-sided thinking into left-sided school and business worlds.  And it worked.  Scarily well, actually.  I had everyone thinking I was just like them, amazingly left brained.  When in fact I was the opposite.  And it was exhausting.  All to get that little star on my paper, or the top rating on my corporate reviews. 

Now, maybe my life is a little messier.  But it is a lot less exhausting - because I finally allow myself to just be.  To create (writing, drawing, painting, photography) all how my brain works.  And I hope that when I teach, I allow each student to do their own thing.  And to not conform to what I do - because there is no one way to creativity.

I think one of the things I have learned on this creative journey is that in the creative process there is no one right answer.  Period. 

So ironically, the only time in the creative process where the answer one size fits all is this truth: THERE IS NO ONE WAY.  The paths to creative development and creation are many and varied and each should find their own way.  Trying out of a few paths for size along the way, and creating a process that works well for him or her. 

Has anyone else found this to be true for them?

Painting Away The Angst

Started painting today, as I normally do - with some warm up paintings. (These end up becoming 5 x 7 originals that I create cards out of.) Not every painting makes the cut - the idea is to warm up, maybe try some new color schemes and get focused on the task of creating. Some might call this "getting in the flow." I think of it as shifting my brain from thinking-left-brained mode, to creative-right-brained mode.

Well, today I was just all over the place. I wasn't in a good mood, and it was translating into my work. So I definitely needed to paint that out - in order to be able to paint with intention and intended emotion, instead of with the all over the place emotion I was feeling (which would have resulted in ruined paintings).

So I began to paint hearts - all drippy. Normally I wipe the drips off, but in the beginning today, I did not.

As my time in the studio progressed, I was still not feeling like if I put paintbrush to canvas I would do a good job, so I continued to paint hearts. I finally started to feel in the flow. And in the end this is what progressed.

Although a few still managed to keep some of their original drippy nature. But hopefully with slightly more hopeful overtones.

Of course, now it is time for bed.  Guess the portraits will have to wait until tomorrow. But at least my brain has stopped fighting the process and work should progress much easier.

Anyone else have a way of shifting their brain and getting into flow or state?

For another look at the creative process see Keeping The Vision

How Long Does It Take To Paint a Painting?

This is probably one of the most common questions someone will ask me, or most artists. This is a tricky question to answer. We really aren't trying to be evasive. It just depends.

Yes, I know "it depends" is what we were told to say to just about anything in business classes at school, but in this case, it really does! Take today - today I'm in the flow. But yesterday - yesterday was a struggle of crazy proportions. My brain would just not let the right side take over and make things effortless. So as a result I couldn't "see" what it was I needed to paint. And so nothing was working. This went on for hours! And the normal tricks I use to loosen up like grabbing my Starbucks or dancing in the studio were not working. Finally at like 11pm at night, my brain finally switched over, stopped fighting, and I was in the flow.

So when we say "it depends" it really does. It depends on our inspiration, on our ability to be in the flow and also our ability to let go and trust. Any artists out there have similar days?

For another look inside the making of art, see What is an Artist's Medium?

Inspiration

People always ask where I find inspiration. I guess I find inspiration all around, when I'm creating a new piece of art. But when it's like day 5 of painting on something, I sometimes need to be re-inspired. That's when I head to one of two places, or sometimes both at the same time. For some reason a Starbucks Latte and a trip to the beach works every time.

Where do you find inspiration?

Walking That Creative Tightrope

I've been working on a new design. Because I decided to create something specific for inside the home, the design process included talking to people to see what they would like to see in this type of art work. Last week I started hating my sketches. Then I realized it was because I had somehow lost my vision in the midst of trying to give people what they wanted.

Once I backed up, realized that, and started sketching again I was able to incorporate what people said they would love to have with what I wanted to create. Magic! And totally awesome. :-)

Always interesting as an artist when I accidently lose my voice or choke it in order to give others what they want. I'm much better at avoiding this particular pitfall than I use to be, but sometimes I still get pulled under.

I know some say creating art should be all about the artist. And a lot of the time, I would agree. But I find that at select times, when I chose to court public opinion, or do a custom piece, I come up with things I never would have thought about without their input. (Like the painting my sister asked me to paint for my nephew's nursery.) And those creations are some of my most favorite and fun pieces of art to create. Because when done with my voice in tact, they help me grow and stretch my creativity in ways I wouldn't have found otherwise.

Any other artists or crafters out there ever have a similar story?

For another blog about creating see Creation, Destruction or Both